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Raphael Meets his Match..

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(Gift to Miguel for goin' back 2 school..)

:tmnt1: :tmnt2:

"Raphael.. yeh..big mutant superstar. Holly-Would Hothead, and fan-girl dream flame. He's the Turtle-Teen-Team's Secret Weapon to mac the bad guy's into Secret Sauce. but then there's the secret history everyone's dying to their teeth sunk..into. Raph's 'Deep Dish'..his high-school years!! It's not that he doesn't like to talk to people about it. It's just that he REALLY DON'T LIKE TO TALK TO PEOPLE AT ALL.. 'specially when they're buggin' him.
:tmnt3: :tmnt4:

'Coarse that never stopped tOkKa from grabbin' the bull by the grapes.. and findin' out the real scoop on this shadey red-eared slider. That's right.. matter of fact ain' nobody gonna tell ya better than tOkK ..your yellow-bellied snapper pal.. has his yellow-ear out n' his claws pawin' at the REAL BULL..cuz i was there ..(Well not really.. but i heard it from the guy who thinks he knew the cousin of the dude that thinks he claimed he went to school with Ralph..but i could be wrong..) !!

Here's it in a nut shell ( n' a dish and a scoop of bull-grape ice cream with a grain of salt..::

Ok .. see there was this girl.. (there ALWAYS is)..i think she was a sophomore,real pretty..n' real smart. Her name was Mona ..Lisa i think.. Yeh .. Mona Lisa. But you gotta understand.. Raphael was a freshman that year at..

Zog Triceraton Memorial High.

This was like the late 1980s er summin' ..but unlike his brothers.. Raph wasn't about to party like it was 1999. Mostly a loner..who liked to rock out n' break things. A handful of friends.. the screw-ball of the Hockey Team ..Casey Jones,the one creepy Leatherhead-ed croc-kid,Mondo Gecko.. & maybe a few other freeks n' mutant-geeks,Wingnuts n' Screwloose-ES..but i can't remember. Raph was a #1 AT-RISK ..and durin' a big fire in Tragg's Techno-shop class..Raph got blamed for the A.D.D.-ordeal. Don't know the details much ..but let's put put it this way.. Ralph became a numero-uno dunce in Prinipal Krang's after-school dentention n' torcher !! Krang hated Raph !!
:(

Poor low n' lonely Raph.. only to go home at the end of each school day to have his goody-two shoes brother Leonardo rub the grit in his face and say : "You aren't trying hard enuff' !!"

But didn't i mention..there was a girl !?

Mona Lisa.. Raph wished if only he could kiss those lucious lizard lips.. but yeh .. like that'd ever happen. Mona never even noticed Raphael.. but boy he sure noticed her..: fine like wine (when yir of legal-drinkin' age of coarse).. brunette hair soft n' sweet that flowed smoother than ketchup on Michelangelo's pizza. A shaped slender as an orange CRUSH bottle n' oi..that tail (baby got back)!! That sleek green tail..made all the other lizard-ladies jealous !! The only tail in New York state that could swoon any man's heart and make all the Power Ranger's green with envy !! O' Mona how'd he love to take her to prom !!
:heart:
The two big jock-jerks on the campus-rumpus were Bebop & his best pal Rocksteady ..sure they're stoopit now. It wasn't always like that,tho'. They weren't geniuses but they wern't morones neither !! After 3 too many hits in the head & a tomb-stone tackle..Bop n' Rock became stupider than a lab rock in one of Donatello's experiments & the biggest trouble-makers on Coach Filch's football team ..

(The Fightin' Triceratons ..Gooo 'Ceratons !!)..& all th'school !!

It couldn;t be the brains.. but it musta been the muscle.. for whatever reason. Mona was goin' steady with Rocky ..(no pun intended ..errr). The 2 Lunk-heads treated her like dirt ..but the codependancy really p1ssed her off each time Bebop would tease,torcher,beat-up n' pick on poor Raph. Rocksteady just laughed. Raphael tryed to fight back.. but he just wasn't strong enough to 'fend of the pork-house players !! Bruised n' bloody ..Raph would come home with more than a fistful in his face, sailor-like four letters outta his mouth n' a big black-eye. Little did anyone know..Raph was training with his Dad and brothers at home..some real Zen stuff and ancient Bushido moves. One of these days those two jerks were really gonna cross the line.. or Krang was gonna pull the last hair outta the mutant's shell n' Ralph was gonna turn into a fireball !!

One day after school..after a particularly grulin' million hour day of math rattles, SATs, and history battles..Raph's battered n' punk'd brain just couldn't really handle nothin' but a nice rumble n' wrasslin' match with Casey Jones ..but it wasn't meant to be. 'Bop & Rock weren't gonna let Raph leave the hall without a fight and Krang wasn't gonna do anything about it. Tease,torrtle, turtle-tattle.. ::

"Mutant Freek, Beak-Brain, Tail Speck Pecker,look his mama so fat she sat on an ooze canister and her ass mutated a green zit.. " .. on and on it went..n' got worse.

Mona told them to stop.. but when Rocksteady pushed her..THAT WAS THAT STRAW..!! Raph was the fireball ..n' nest thing ya know Bebop was runnin' freeked as he became a porkrind on the end of Raph's sai-eyed slice.. Rocky wasn't gonna put up with this.. just as he was rearin' up on Ralph..that slick tail reared in !! Mona tripped Rocky and as he was 'bout to loose his balance.. all that Ninja-stuff his Dad taught him came at him like a missle.. and Raph flew as a mega-back kick tossed Rock back 16 feet into a truck-load of lockers !! Raphey coulda been Filch's next half back!! As Mikey would say .. COWABUNGA !! (Don't tell nobody Raph said that !!)
:heart: :heart:
Beat the bullies,busted the lockers,.. (Yeh Krang's not gonna be thrilled 'bout gettin' the funds from Dimension X to replace those..),won the girl's heart ..ya really think all this gave way for Teenage Mutant Super Stud Stardom & a future paved in pizza ?!

Well whadda you think ?!

Not that all this'd get to a loner's head. But after biggest kiss & a date set-up from the most beautiful lizard on the face of the planet.. even Ralph had to admit..::

"..Man .. that was pretty f7ckin' cool..!!"

*** ***

..Raph's theme for our twisted little tail-tale is borrowed from the super-folic n' b-12 bomb-shells :Wheatus @ [link] (just before the suck foney).. and featured in 2000's loose "LOSER" movie ..(which actually was very-loosely based on Raph's life.. err..yeh sure!!)..At one point or another..the jingle was even #1 on Wheatus' list of i-tunes downloads !! ..

-- Click here ,if you wish to listen to

Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus !! >> @ [link]



**

..crayon,colour pencil,MAGIC MARKER,inks,design marker,personal collection clip-arts,Ph.Shop,Fireworks,heart,corn-meal,pimple cream,on Bristol Board peices..
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